Denial

Denial is a very subtle but powerful force that can blind even the smartest of people, including salespeople. In many cases it is a way the conscious or unconscious person protects themselves from facing conflict at confronting a situation. It is manufactured by the unconscious self so the person in denial may not be aware of it. We can be very, very good at looking the other way. So good, the thing we wish to deny can be erased from our conscious self completely. On the other hand, the casual observer who knows someone in denial can sometimes recognize it. It takes a perceptive person to see its symptoms. Most salespeople have these perceptive abilities. They also have the intellectual capacity to deny something too. Denial isn't all bad. It helps us manage our pain and traumatic situations. Psychologists call it a defense mechanism because it relieves pressure on the conscious person. Denial becomes a serious problem when the person denies the existence of very bad things happening to them or causes them to have trouble with reality. We aren't talking about that type of denial here. There are very mild symptoms of denial which very normal people have.

Denial can cause a salesperson to loose control over their performance and accounts. Where it causes a problem is when the salesperson looses a big sale (traumatic situation) or begins to have the symptoms of mediocrity. Stress can cause the saleperson to deny the existence of issues in their life. Once the pressure begins, a salesperson can begin to look the other way and deny the existence of a problem. The salesperson can also become lax in their day to day acitivity, and push less to perform. Again, stress can be at the root of this but another reason can be the stress caused by not performing. Once they lose their desire to have an edge, they loose the passion and drive. Salespeople know all about passion and drive. Salepeople who loose the drive know what is happening but some don't do anything about it. Back in their minds, they know what is happening but don't do anything about it. Over time things happen to them. They lose an order, are late for appointments, forget to follow up. All these things individually aren't siginificant. Together, they add up to stress. Again, even though these issues aren't in front of their nose, there is a little voice in the back of their mind reminding them every time something goes wrong they are loosing it. Most normal people will occasionally realize what is happening to them. Some shove it back into their unconsciousness. Others will keep noticing it until it bugs them so much they decide to do something about it. If you are bugged by some things you think you're in denial about, do something about it NOW. Don't push it away for tomorrow. The more you push it away, the better you become at ignoring it. Ignore it too much and you'll forget about it. This whole thing is about wanting to be challenged and not giving up.

When you encounter people that seem oblivious to their behavior, they may be in complete denial about it. Only their unconscious is aware of it. You can believe this is causing a conflict within them. Unresolved conflicts never go away. They appear as problem behaviors and even sickness. It's all signals from the unconsicous something is wrong. Managers can be experts in denial too. A classic is the blind spot. Another example is a salesperson who really believes they are doing a good job when they're only mediocre. Facing the fact you're mediocre is very painful, especially when you think you're really good. Denial as a defense mechanism can be stunningly effective at masking problems like this. I have seen it with salepeople who cover the same account too long. I have been in denial as a salesperson. It can be a customer who keeps promising something to you but never delivers.

If you're in denial, sometimes you get a signal from the outside something is wrong. Maybe you're very lucky and dodge a bullet or get a good kick in the pants from your boss. A situation happens where you are lucky to keep your job or your boss's boss got called by the customer and told you're doing a crap job. They decide to give you a second chance. (Don't ever go into denial with your boss if you get called about this). Perhaps a friend or associate says you'll get in trouble if you keep behaving a certain way. These are all signals from the outside trying to breach the denial wall by people who care for you. Just like drugs, denial can keep you from moving forward. If someone talks to you, listen. This is your chance to fix yourself. Good salespeople can break out of denial. They recognize something is wrong and they decide to do something about it. It's all about making yourself a better person. Mediocre salespeople wallow in denial, convinced they are doing really well. When the boom falls, they have no idea what hit them. If you're really good, you'll recognize the symptoms of denial and do something about it.

Customers can suffer from denial. This is frustrating if you find a need and the customer doesn't want to do anything about it. About the only thing you can do is go around them. This can cause problems but it may be worth it if the opportunity warrants it. You can't try to confront a customer's denial head on. Since they're in denial they're trying to push away a painful situation. Talking about it with them will only associate you to their pain. I don't think that's a very good strategy. Sometimes you can break through if you are gentle and persistant. If the customer's denial is small you might make some headway. Be very careful about doing this. Pushing too hard will cause problems.

Everybody has been in denial over something, even the most talented salespeople. When it happens to a salesperson, it can effect their performance and possibly be disruptive. If it goes on too long it can become addictive like a drug. You'll do it more and more and it's hold over you will become very strong. Good salepeople know how to recognize a signal that they are in denial. Sometimes the signal comes from the outside like from a friend or a boss, other times it can be a tiny voice warning you in the back of your mind. Whatever it is when you get the signal, do something about it right away. That's the only time you'll be able to do something about it. Denial can be dealt with and when you do, you'll improve yourself. You'll remove a conflict and release pressure on yourself, making yourself a stronger performer and enjoy your life much better.